I'm having a rough couple of days. The farther I get into this pregnancy the more I realize how much I'm alone. My sister-in-law posted some new pictures of my nieces and it kills me to be so far away from them. I want them all around for one of my births and I really don't think that will ever happen. I want to live where its pretty. I'm tired of rock, of gravel, of brown, of cactus, of heat. I want a change and my husband doesn't. I just feel so stuck with life right now. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to craft but I can't find any of my craft supplies because after a year, we are still living out of boxes. I want a house of my own. A house that I want to clean and a house that I want to decorate. I want my children to grow up in their house. Yet none of that seems possible. I hate this economy. I hate the fact that no matter how much we save, we can never get ahead. I hate that my husband works around the clock and we still struggle financially. I hate that I cant help out. I feel like he is working so hard so that I am able to stay home. I hope our break comes soon. I'm exhausted.